The Art of the Silent Treatment

The Art of the Silent Treatment does it really work?

I’ve been practicing this art as far back as I can remember. Probably, as a child I thought that I could manipulate people with it. Maybe if I wanted some candy from the store or wanted a new toy I used it. I can picture myself doing that as a child. I must mention it never worked on my mother.

But when does one use it when they get older? Like me, they usually bring it into their adult relationships.

But does it truly work? It depends.

As an adult my silent treatments have turned into something else.

My silent treatments stem from Disappointments, Anger, and Heartache.

Let’s briefly explore them.

Disappointments – Do unto others as you want others to do unto you. I’ve always had a problem with people who don’t treat you the same as you treat them. Or extend you the same courtesy that you extend them.

Initially, I was very vocal about what bothered me. But the feedback I received was: It’s no big deal, get over it or nervous laughter. Which didn’t resolve anything, it only disappointed me further. One way that it manifested itself was by friendships ending. You know how you haven’t spoken to so and so in so long. And now you just don’t talk at all.

Anger – The Silent Treatments I’ve practiced at these times has saved me. At my previous job my supervisor called me out in front of my co-workers for something I didn’t do.

Immediately, I was filled with embarrassment then anger. Lots of anger. But I had to take a deep breath and shut my mouth. Be silent, be still.

If I hadn’t done that, I would have cursed her out all the way up and down that aisle. I would have been in her face in a threatening manner and I would have been terminated on the spot. And I would have had my very own escorts called, “security.”

Heartache – When your heart is hurting your body shuts down. As your body shuts down you feel there’s nothing to talk about—nothing to say.

It hurts too much to even speak about it anymore. And when you can’t get your point across you feel like what’s the use.

Theses Silent Treatments are the worst of all. It’s because while you are in these silences you feel a little helpless hopeless.

So does the Silent treatment work?

It works if it serves a purpose. But if it doesn’t all it really is—is silence.